Pretty much what Loc said.
Game selection is the key - on SK's server it's unregulated games I assume people are going to play to win. It's a war game, you win war games by controlling the field of play, and you do that via dropping figs.
You just can't win a competitive game by turning up late. If I do play a casual game, you've turned up 4 hours late, and you can move about easily. It probably means I've probed, going to let you build a base, and I'll know where you are to a level of certainty that you are already dead.
I highly suggest you go to Crunchers server:
Cruncherstw.no-ip.biz
2002
it's set up to ease returning players into the game. There are also games designed to keep grid muppets like me out from ruining your day
i.e. low turns, can't be online 24/7, you won't get instantly photoned by a pdrop script.
Also, if you don't have it you should consider Discord, and join her server. Lots of friendly discussion and help there.. I don't have a link but sure she can provide